Men’s Work

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Men’s Work addresses the loneliness, isolation, shame, and rage that many men experience in their daily lives.

It is done individually, in men’s groups, and at retreats. When a man enters on this journey toward mature manhood and masculine wisdom, he comes into the territory of personal growth, interdependence, and connection.

There is an aspect of initiation in this work which brings men face to face with their need for the sacred, the need to develop a spiritual life, and to enter into the experience of soul.

Men who follow this path usually find themselves in a vital community of like-minded men who have taken their lives into their own hands and are pursuing their dreams and goals.

Men’s Work is simply emotional, psychological, and spiritual work that is done by men.

Some of the “men’s issues” that are addressed include overcoming shame, work and responsibility, relationships with women, being a son, being a father, creativity, spirituality, mentoring, and conscious living.

One of the hallmarks of being male in American society is the tendency we all have toward isolation. We are encouraged as boys to be strong and independent and not to need anyone or anything. The result of this conditioning is that many men live emotionally isolated lives of loneliness, neediness, helplessness, and a general sense of rage and futility about their existence.

By being accompanied, either by a single mentor or therapist, or by a group of like-minded men, a man can gradually shed himself of this isolation, loneliness, and sense of rage and futility. In its place grows healthy interdependence, mutual helpfulness, and a responsibility toward others that is regenerating rather than draining and carries a delight in giving.

A man fully engaged in this work eventually finds that he is joyfully reveling in community rather than resentfully making last stands alone.

A men’s group can be a vital part of this process because the very existence of the group belies the myth that we must all do it alone. The companionship of the other men brings healing, restoration, and profound growth. It becomes a haven of brotherhood for those seeking to enhance their experience of emotion, spirit, insight, clarity, and relationship.

The safety of the group setting allows men to reach in to their passion, their pain, and their joy and to express it fully in the context of this supportive community of friends. For details on available men’s groups, click here.

A men’s retreat offers a weekend or several days of the experiences found in a men’s group in a more intensified atmosphere which includes celebration, ceremony, and brotherhood. For details on men’s retreats and workshops, look in the column to the left and click on the particular event which interests you.

At this time, my men’s groups are permanently closed and any retreats I do will be by invitation only.

I heartily endorse the men’s work done by my colleagues Richard Palmer, 805-428-0393; and Jeddy Azuma, at They both do groups and retreats.

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Newspaper Article on Men's Groups

When a man starts a journey toward maturity and wisdom, he must go to places he probably has never been before; he must venture into the foreign territories of emotion and interdependence.

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Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden

Toxic masculinity—and the persistent idea that feelings are a “female thing”—has left a generation of straight men stranded on emotionally-stunted island, unable to forge intimate relationships with other men. It’s women who are paying the price.